Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. As we moms and dads know, we have a lot of decisions to make. Day in and day out, we think about our children and have the power to decide their upbringing and well-being. Unfortunately, that also means we’re constantly prone to hearing unsolicited opinions from all sorts of people. As annoying as it can be to hear opinions we didn’t ask for about our parenting, we can’t necessarily stop people from expressing them. However, we can rest assured in this truth: Those opinions are unimportant. And here’s why.
The opinion of outsiders should not play a role in your upbringing
When I became a mother for the first time, I quickly realized how stubborn everyone and their brother (or, let’s be honest, everyone and their Mother). From the moment I announced my pregnancy, it seemed like not a day could go by without someone sharing their opinion on pregnancy, labor and delivery, or other baby-related topics. I now know that outside opinions are simply not worth worrying about when it comes to parenting. Why, you ask?
These are just … opinions
There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. Of course, there are resources and support to guide us through our journey with little people. There are plenty of social media accounts to give us something to strive for (or sometimes against). And many of us have neighbors, family members, friends, and coworkers who are willing to weigh in on our parenting decisions. Ultimately, though, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to any aspect of parenting. Opinions are personal and sometimes valid, but they are neither factual… nor authoritative.
They are not necessarily relevant
As much as I believe that people generally mean well when they express their opinions on all matters related to raising children, I also have to remind myself that their opinions may not be relevant to My Motherhood. First of all, many of us today, myself included, are probably raising our children very differently than previous generations. Things have changed as to what is considered acceptable, appropriate and even safe in the area of raising people. The world has changed. We cannot expect that what worked for Great Aunt Sally over 75 years ago will work for our families today, nor should we believe that the opinions of other people (on anything The problems associated with parenting are a measure of our success as mothers and fathers.
The opinion of others does not change what is best for your child
At some point we have all had to listen to what worked for another child. A classic? How another parent managed to get their month-old baby sleep through the night. I personally have never experienced 8- to 12-hour, uninterrupted sleep. Am I tired? Absolutely. Have I ever asked anyone their opinion on my family’s sleep habits? No. Honestly, I don’t want or need to hear that. We do what works for us, and that’s all that matters. I know what’s best for my babies, and I’m sure you know what’s best for yours. People can think they know best all they want, but their opinion of your unique situation will never trump your authority as your child’s parent.
No one else can dictate your parenting role
This is a given, but it is a reminder: your parenting is yours and no one else’s. You can shape it, experience it and cherish it. It is a wonderful gift, but you must be aware of your role and be confident in your role in order to successfully block out unwanted opinions. When you have children, others may think they have more say in your decisions than is actually the case. As I have experienced myself, people like to try to convince new mothers that everything conceivable. Baby names, LimitsFamily traditions, dietary choices – and everything in between. Regardless, this is your journey. Your parenting is not for anyone to control, manipulate or influence you without asking. Their opinions simply do not count.
Everyone will have an opinion about your parenting… but it doesn’t have to be important
As with everything else in life, people will have opinions about how you raise your children. And you can’t always stop others from butting in on situations they’re not allowed to talk about. But you may Find security in knowing that you can take other people’s opinions with a grain of salt. You’ll never impress everyone, but there’s no reason to try. Your motherhood (or fatherhood) is yours alone… and the only opinions that matter when it comes to your path with your little humans are your own.
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