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We all know that emotions can run high, especially during toddlerhood. What many parents don’t expect, however, is how big the feelings can still be when our children reach elementary school age. The ages of 5 to 12 bring a whole new wave of emotional challenges that are often misunderstood or dismissed as “bad behavior.” We assume that emotional outbursts are just a part of the toddler stage, but they don’t go away. . . they simply shift. That’s why it’s so important for parents to understand emotional intelligence, and not just to help our children calm down Collapsesbut rather teaching them how to actually feel, process, and regulate emotions in a healthy, coherent way. And here’s the kicker: What’s the best way to teach this? It’s about practicing it yourself, which, let’s face it, most of us were never taught.
In this episode of Chick ChatI’m joined by Alyssa Blask Campbell, a leading expert on childhood emotional development, bestselling author, and founder of Seed & Sew. Alyssa is passionate about helping parents and caregivers raise emotionally intelligent people through real-world tools and neuroscience-based strategies that create lasting impact.
Together we delve into the emotional world of “big kids,” why their behavior is often misunderstood, and how parents can regulate their own nervous systems so they can connect with their children rather than react to them. If you’re dealing with defiance and meltdowns, or just want to better understand your child’s emotional world, this is for you.
Meet Alyssa Blask Campbell
Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed.is an emotional development expert, early childhood educator and founder of Sowing and sewinga platform dedicated to supporting the emotional well-being of children and adults. She is the bestselling author of Small people, big feelingsand now her latest book, Big kids, bigger feelings: Dealing with defiance, meltdowns, and fears to raise confident, connected children.
Alyssa is also the creator of the Collaborative Emotion Processing (CEP) method, a five-step framework that equips adults with the tools to help children manage big feelings—while doing the inner work of processing their own. Through her books, podcasts (Voices of your village) and programs, Alyssa has helped thousands of families move from chaos to connection by understanding the roots of emotional behavior and developing real-world strategies for regulation and resilience.
What did we discuss?
This episode was extremely affirming and educational for me. Alyssa and I covered:
- Why the primary school years (ages 5-12) are crucial for emotional development
- what is Really what happens in those “defiant” or fearful moments
- The importance of regulating the nervous system in adults and how to recognize when one is disturbed
- Alyssa’s acronym FACTS and how it helps parents stay grounded in difficult moments
- How to move from reactive parenting to conscious, coherent responses
- What it means to normalize the full emotional spectrum of our children
- The biggest takeaways from her new book, Big kids, bigger feelings
- She wants every overwhelmed parent to hear a message
Final thoughts
Raising emotionally intelligent children isn’t just about teaching them to calm down. While this may feel like it’s what we need to do right now, it’s something we need to work on Model Regulation, building trust and creating space for all feelings – big and small, desirable and less desirable. Alyssa’s work reminds us that we don’t have to be perfect to raise connected children – thank God. We just have to keep showing up, staying present, staying curious and willing to work alongside them. Honestly, we learn just as much as they do.
Whether your child is dealing with anxiety, meltdowns, or just everyday challenges, this episode is a must-watch. It’s packed with supportive insights, actionable tools, and the kind of grace every parent needs to hear.
Alyssa’s resources:
Mentioned in the episode:
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