As any mother of multiple children would probably agree, your heart grows with each new child. But it’s also true that time with each child is limited when siblings are involved. This is where valuable time comes into play!
When my family of three became a family of four, I was unprepared for the guilt I would feel when I couldn’t give either I give my two children 100% of my time and attention. Almost two years after being a mother of two small children, I still sometimes feel guilty. That means I concentrate on what I do may do to make sure each of my children feel special every day. Here are a handful of my favorite tried-and-true ideas!
5 Easy Ways to Share the Love When You Have Multiple Children
If you are a mother of multiple children and want each of your little people to know how much you care about them, this is for you. Whether in everyday life or on special occasions, there are many ways to make every child feel special, even if they have siblings with whom they can share the love and attention. For example:
1. Plan alternating “special days” or appointments for mom and child
I grew up with three sisters and remember my mother taking turns planning “special days.” From time to time she would take one of us on a one-on-one date to a place in the mountains that was close to our family’s heart. I always looked forward to my special day. Although I don’t remember what we talked about or what we necessarily did, I do remember the time we spent together. And that meant the world.
This is something I have optimized and continued with my own babies. My daughter and I love drinking protein shakes after ballet class. My son is only 1.5 years old, but a morning full of baby gymnastics and errands – just the two of us – is always special. Planning alternating one-on-one outings with your children is a great way to make them feel loved. Maybe it’s a nice change for you too!
2. Introduce and practice personalized affirmations
I firmly believe in the power of our words and the impact they have on others. Affirmations are an excellent way to do this We teach our children self-esteem. Whether you incorporate them into your family’s daily routine or introduce them spontaneously at will, affirmations are a great way to remind your children of their worth. Maybe have your child, who has difficulty navigating a new environment, repeat “I am strong, I am brave, and I am courageous” before starting a new activity. Or your aspiring artist or musician might repeat, “I’m creative, I’m original, and I’m focused.” Whatever the words are, they’ll remind your kids of their unique strengths—and stick with them for the long haul.
3. Make time for individual bedtime routines
Ending each day with a predictable, thoughtful routine can help keep your children feeling safe and secure before they fall asleep. If possible, create space for individualization Bedtime routines because each of my babies brings a more peaceful night for everyone. My daughter loves reading books together, praying before bed, and chatting about our day before sharing a quick bedtime snack. What comforts my son the most is lots of cuddles, kisses and lullabies. Paying attention to what means most to each child – even in the mundane, routine parts of our day – is crucial to making them feel special.
4. Create unique traditions
If you’re like me and take pride in creating lasting memories for your children, you probably value family traditions. While customs for the whole family are wonderful, there is something extra special about creating special customs for the whole family with the children. During the holidays, one of my favorite mommy-daughter traditions from my childhood that I share with my daughter is relaxing by the Christmas tree—just the two of us—once everyone else is asleep. In February, both of my babies wake up with paper hearts on their bedroom doors that say special things that I love about them as individuals. No matter how simple or extravagant, the art of sharing traditions with your little people can make any childhood a little more magical.
5. Be authentic
As a mother of two young children, it can be tempting not to give any child a gift compliment, hugor any other form of affection and leave the other person out. However, I have learned to let each of my little ones have the spotlight without always feeling the need to share it with the other. Children are more intuitive than we realize and can tell when we are being sincere and when we are not. There is really no need to overdo it in order to share love “equally”. Focus on showing genuine, meaningful affection one child at a time—without constantly feeling the need to repeat the same gesture toward the other. This allows every child to receive and absorb your love.
You do your best. . . And your babies know it!
Above all, try not to get upset and wonder if you’re doing enough to make each of your little people feel special every day. Being a mother of several children is hard, and you can only do so much. So give yourself grace – your little ones know how much you love them. Promise!
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