It goes without saying that a mother’s love for her child is unparalleled. What if there is more than one child in the picture? I’ve often heard experienced mothers with multiple children talk about how they always end up loving each baby equally – though different. After a year and a half of sharing my heart with my daughter and son, I can vouch that this phenomenon is real.
Before I became pregnant with my second child, I wondered how in the world I could ever love another person as much as I loved my firstborn. I’m here to tell you that it’s absolutely possible to love more than one baby more than you ever imagined. However, that doesn’t mean you’ll end up loving your babies the same. . . and that’s okay. Here’s what I mean by that.
My children are individuals with unique needs
Although they are similar in many ways, my children are very individual. you are unique itself, and that’s what I love about them. For this reason, our relationships are unique. And yes, I love each of my children differently.
My daughter is a 3 year old, sweet bourgeois. She is brave, wonderfully courageous and ready to take on the responsibility. She should definitely be the oldest child. She is also highly sensitive, deeply empathetic, always curious and amazingly intuitive. She is creative, strong-willedand open to being everyone’s friend. And she is my mini-me, a spitting image of the toddler I once was, with more personality traits of mine than I can remember. I see myself in her and she in me. She makes me want to love myself (and by extension her) and others more than ever before – and to be the best role model woman I can be. Through her I know how to love completely, unconditionally and radically.
My son is a 1.5 year old firecracker full of surprises. He is determined, persistent and unstoppable. He came into our world fast and furious and messed everything up. He also hangs on my hip, warm and loving and visibly thoughtful. He is independent, confident and always with a smile on his face. And he is the son I didn’t know I needed until I had him. Through him I see things in a whole new light. It forces me to keep up and stay on my toes – while simultaneously making me want to slow down time and enjoy each fleeting second a little more than the last. He reminds me to love joyfully, fearlessly and sweetly.
My relationships with my children are as unique as they are
My relationship with my daughter embodies a deep, spiritual love. It feels like we’ve been by each other’s side for a million years and I appreciate that. It’s a holy, safe kind of love that can never be broken.
I love my daughter in the open conversations, in the conversations that do not exceed her age, in the difficult questions and in the always listening ears. I love her in the tight hugs, the heavy tears, the big emotions, and the “Always your biggest fan” cheer. I love her in the challenging times, in the “mommy’s big helper” times, in the “I’m not tired yet” times. . . “I want another snack” late at night that I know deep down is just a tiny blip in time that will soon pass.
I love watching them twirl, paint, dress up and fantasize. I love her in silence, in courage, in trust and in creation. I love them in our unbreakable bond: mother and daughter, mirror and reflection. I love her very much, just as she loves me. . . And that is an honor that I would never take lightly.
My relationship with my son is based on pure love. It’s simple, refreshing and heartwarmingly restorative. It surprised me in the most pleasant way, and I appreciate that. It’s a simple, seamless, unfussy but just as real kind of love.
I love my son’s always welcome cuddles and kisses, short stories and songs and lullaby requests. I love him in the moment, in the laughter, in the corner of my heart that made room for the second round – the one that was no less than the first to come after. I love him in the carefree moments, in the almost panicked “don’t let yourself down” fits, in the non-stop, never-slowing repetition of every wild and crazy day that I know I’ll one day wish I could have stayed here can.
I love him playing music, stomping, running around and baking cakes. I love him for the loud, the untamed, the brave and constantly doing his own thing. I love him in our special bond: mother and son, mama bear and baby’s first love. I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone else. . . and I will never take this heartwarming love for granted.
Yes, I love my children differently. . . But none less than the other
Motherhood shows us a love greater than any other. An all-encompassing, unconditional, ever-evolving love. As if having a single child doesn’t make your heart grow incredibly, being a mother of more than one child can mean experiencing multiple types of larger-than-life love. Yes, I love my children differently. . . but none less than the other. And I am so grateful for the unique relationships I share with my son and daughter.
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