As I write this, I’m sitting in the pickup line for my daughter’s summer camp. It’s the first time she’s been out of her preschool bubble, away from the same kids and teachers she’s been with since she was two. It was important for us to have this transition period before she officially starts kindergarten. Yet, with it officially being a month until her first day of elementary school, my emotions are all over the place. This is my oldest child, and kindergarten feels like the biggest step we’ve taken in her little life so far. So, to any parents struggling with feelings of happiness and joy alongside sadness and anxiety, this letter is for you.
A letter to the parents of future kindergarten children
Dear new kindergarten parents,
I know it feels like just last week we had our Pregnancy apps to see what fruit our baby was. And just yesterday we anxiously checked our baby monitors to make sure our little one wasn’t breaking out of his swaddle (again). And yet here we are – parents of a 5-year-old. Parents of an elementary school child. Parents who no longer know every minute of their child’s day, who have to cope with the little nuggets of information we receive in the car on the way home, and who have to bow to the fact that we no longer have a baby, that our child is growing up.
On one hand, kindergarten is an exciting time! You can rest easy knowing that you’re past the toddler phase, that you can mostly count on a full night’s sleep, and that your child will soon be able to do the fun things you always imagined for them, like reading books and making lifelong friends. As adults, many of our memories begin with kindergarten. And a lucky few may even still have connections to those we met at ages 5 and 6. This is the age when we start learning what kind of people our children are and get a glimpse of what they could become. But as I excitedly walk my daughter through the mall to find the perfect pair of sneakers for this new phase of her life, I also feel a sense of dread.
I’ve always wanted my daughter to be independent, to put on her own shoes and pick out her own clothes. But when this happened, I wondered why I wanted this so much. I feel the same way when I watch her do things on her own every day, when I see her chubby thighs grow into long legs and her curly baby hairs straighten into a hairstyle that makes her look much older than I’m willing to accept. When she suddenly pronounces a word correctly, a small part of me feels forever changed. It was harder than I thought to recover from her self-correcting “yellow” to “yellow.”
But that’s the thing about kids growing up—I may not be ready for it, but I know she is. When I see her sitting at the kitchen counter practicing letters and numbers, when I see her playing with her friends and listening to them have real conversations, and when I see her doing the things she still does (like crying over a paper cut or putting her shoes on the wrong feet), I know she’s ready. And as much as you don’t believe it, you are too.
When our children start kindergarten, we also enter a phase of parenthood we have never experienced before. One that may have come upon us far too quickly, but is coming nonetheless. We may not feel ready—just as we did not feel fully prepared to have a newborn or to hand him over at his birth. first day at daycare – but we are ready. We have to be.
Instead of thinking about what we have left behind, we should change our mindset and imagine the days ahead. Primary school is usually greeted with fondness, and as our children experience all the new things that kindergarten brings, we too get to experience it through their eyes. We get to spend a day shopping for school supplies together, feel the excitement and nervousness of meeting their teachers, and wake up on their first day. Most importantly, we get to watch them grow and thrive in this adult environment. One day, we will look back on this time with pride and longing, wishing only for these days to return.
So while I hold back my comments about the all-black flash shoes my pink-loving daughter has been dying to have, I am also holding back every tear and every ounce of fear I have for her as she begins her elementary school life. And to any parents holding back those feelings, have a little resolve in the knowledge that we will get through this together. Just as we have survived sleep deprivation and TantrumsWe will get through this too – only this time, this phase of parenthood has no end, but is just beginning.
Good luck, parents. We can do this.
Love,
A new kindergarten mother
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