Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard the phrase, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” I couldn’t tell you when I first heard it or why , but it’s safe to say it stuck. As a child, I learned that words are just words. It was normalized to minimize hard feelings because they would magically disappear. Being angry, sad, or disappointed wasn’t a big deal – it was something I just had to “get over.” Now, as an adult raising my own children, I know how untrue that statement is. Words matter and they have lasting effects. Although it took me several decades to fully understand this, I’m happy to report that they do things differently these days. And there are ways for us to teach our children the power of their words.
The power of our words
Recently, my oldest daughter shared one of her favorite lessons from her guidance counselors about the importance of words. The lesson discussed the effect our words have on the people around us. How a compliment can brighten someone’s day – or how a few mean words said in anger can be devastating.
The lesson discussed how powerful words can be, whether positive or negative. To illustrate the situation concretely, the carer had the children crumple up a piece of paper. Every crumple and contortion represented unkind words or bullying. When they were finished, she had them try to return the paper to its original state. Of course, no matter how much they smoothed it out, it wasn’t the same.
She explained that in a real-world scenario, this is what flattening the paper might look like excuse. But even when we say we’re sorry when we hurt someone, it never completely erases the impact. Things will not go back to the way they were. The same is true when those mean words overwhelm us.
As parents, we want to teach our children this lesson without heartache, and it starts with leadership empathy. “You can build empathy by teaching the power of words,” he says Matthew Schubert, a licensed professional counselor. “Understanding how certain words make them feel will help your child understand how their words affect others,” he adds.
When we teach our children to walk in someone else’s shoes, they learn to stop and think about the impact and power of their words. It also helps them be a caring friend to those with whom they have had difficult experiences mobbing. Even though they may not have been made fun of, they understand how it would feel.
Lead with empathy and kindness
Be sensitive In any situation, this is easier said than done, even for an adult with more practice. It’s even harder as a child, especially when tempers flare. So how are we? Teach our children to be kind And patient?
Schubert recommends parents start with the basics, such as recognizing emotions and communicating effectively. “This way people can better understand what you’re trying to say and how you’re feeling,” he says. Remember that kindness comes in all shapes and forms. Practicing kindness doesn’t have to involve a grand gesture.
Small ways to practice kindness
If you’re looking for ways to teach your children to add a little more kindness into their everyday lives, consider the following:
- Pay a friend, a family member, or even a stranger a compliment.
- Practice gratitude and let people know you appreciate them.
- Be willing to listen to other people’s problems.
- Volunteer with local organizations or find other ways to help people Acts of kindness.
- Leave encouraging notes and kind words for the people you meet.
Although this is not an exhaustive list, it is an excellent starting point if you are looking for small ways to do this Teach your children kindness. You can also ask your child for any ideas they have. How will they practice kindness? How have they received kindness that was meaningful to them in the past?
“Finding the right words and actions to express this is an empowering experience for your children,” says Schubert. “I often hear from children that they feel unheard. They feel invisible in the realm of adults who impose all the rules on them and always tell them what to do,” he adds. When your child actively engages in these activities, it feels less like something they have to do and more like something they have to do want make.
We are responsible for our words
The words we say are powerful and have lasting impact. I don’t know why this particular lesson hit my daughter so hard, but I’m glad it did. Be it an example of crumpled paper, broken dishes, or toothpaste squeezed out of a tube, the lesson that speaks most clearly is this: You are responsible for your words.
It is equally important to emphasize again and again that choosing kindness is not a superfluous thing. Pay someone a compliment. Smile at them when they seem depressed. You never know whose day you can turn around or what difference you can make to someone with just a few kind words.
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