I am a mother of four and love my children more than I ever thought possible. I love her so much that sometimes I feel a hole in my heart because I regret not having more children. This probably sounds completely ridiculous to a lot of people, and maybe it is, but there are days when I look around the room and feel like someone is missing.
As a little girl, I played with my dolls for hours. I still have Sherry Amelda, my first Cabbage Patch Kid; I took her with me wherever I went. I changed her, fed her and put her to sleep. And I twisted her red yarn hair into braids and gently cleaned spots from her face and body. Sherry Amelda was my first foray into motherhood. Even as a young girl, I knew I wanted to have a house full of children.
Serious regret about not having another child. Or two.
I had my first child in my late 20s and my husband was in his mid 30s. We had three boys in five years and life was great. Then, two days before I turned 37, a little girl came into our lives. My oldest son was 8 years old and I felt blessed to have a baby in our home. Now she’s ready to turn eight and her biggest brother is learning to drive. I look at my life and wonder how it went by so quickly. I regret not having more children, at least one or two more.
Yes, life is chaotic large family We’re crammed into a house with four kids and a lot of stuff and a big dog, but we’re happy like that. I grew up with three brothers and our home was always loud and full of people. It brought me comfort. I feel the same way in my own home. There’s always something happening and people talking, sometimes shouting, but these sounds bring me joy. I think about what life will be like when it’s just me and my husband and it feels so lonely.
If we had one or two more children, this joyful noise would last much longer. No, I don’t want to have enough children to be on a reality show, but I regret not having another child. Two more would have been fine too. My husband said that if we had married a few years earlier, he would have thought six children was a great number and would have liked more. When I think about it, my heart hurts a little. I think about these what ifs and how different our lives would be. But I can’t help but think it would have been fantastic.
Unfortunately we won’t have any more children
I’m about to turn 45 and my husband is turning 51. We could certainly have another baby, but we won’t. I get really jealous when I see pregnant women. I loved feeling my babies growing inside me. Despite the endless diapers, crying and sleepless nights, it was worth all the emotions. And it’s hard for me to remember that I still have about ten years until my baby grows up.
Having many children is tiring but fulfilling
A house full of kids means big messes, endless laundry, dishes, and hours of travel in the car from one place to another. It is exhausting. But for me it is also fulfilling. I love looking at pictures of my children smiling and enjoying the most everyday things in life. The more children you have, the lower your disposable income. We don’t do luxury vacations or cruises. But every July we go on a glorified camping trip with our families. My kids will tell you it’s their favorite week of the year when there’s tons of nothing. These days will probably be some of her most vivid childhood memories. I hope so.
I have to remember that as my children get older, I get older too. At 40, I have pain in parts of my body I didn’t know I had. My hair glitters with shades of gray and my face has a few smile lines. At my age, I probably wouldn’t do well with a baby, but I could still keep up with a kindergartener if I had one. I know there shouldn’t be any regrets, but if I had to name one thing, I regret not having more children.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. The three boys and one girl I have, a reflection of my childhood as a family, is probably what I was meant to have. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wonder, wish, and long that I love another child. If I’m lucky, I hope to one day have a home full of grandchildren and watch my children learn the joys of parenthood. Until then, I’ll accept every hug and kiss I get. My babies fill my soul and I am grateful.
Leave a Comment