Anger often gets a bad reputation, and this is because people often confuse him aggression. But let me assure you that anger is not a problem. In fact, it is necessary. If it is treated constructively, it helps our children to work for themselves, to ensure their needs and Boundaries Are fulfilled, identify and “correct” mistakes and manage large emotions. What is important does not stop our children from being angry. Instead, we want to teach them how to be angry in a healthy and adaptive way.
4 healthy opportunities to teach your child, express trouble
When our children grow and develop, they constantly learn how to understand and manage their great feelings. Research shows how important this process is – children who develop emotional regulatory skills at an early stage are more social and academically successful.1 However, when children learn to suppress their feelings (yes, anger, I'm talking about them), these feelings or underlying needs do not go. And you can appear in a more disruptive or unhealthy way in the whole line.2 So let's examine how we can help our children express their trouble without hurt themselves or others:
1. Name it and normalize it
To tame trouble, our little ones first have to understand what Anger is, why it happens and that it is a normal emotion and reaction to things that happen in their world. When we tell you, “It's okay to feel angry” or “to have angry feelings is normal”, we teach you that emotions are simply news and nothing we have to fear or worry about. And if we give these feelings names (such as “angry”, “frustrated” or “disappointed”), it helps them to process their emotions more effectively.3 Identification or Name your feelings Is actually the first step to regulate yourself. This also helps to improve their ability to manage and react great feelings and reduce behavioral problems.4
2. Model is cool, calm and collected
Our tiny people learn directly from the way we deal with ourselves. They look at what we do and say when we feel a number of emotions. This gives you a blueprint for how you should react to similar circumstances. So if we stay calm and be able to make sure that we are respectful, even if we are angry, we can show our children how to do it. It is believed that this happens through the co-regulation if a child learns or processes something based on the support of someone else. In this case, this “someone” is his parents or caregivers (ie he learns how to deal with anger when he sees how You administer).2
3. Help you channel it (sure)
Has anyone ever told you that you should calm down if you feel frustrated? And when did that work? Most likely. . . never. Tell our children, they should calm down if they have them have a breakdown is just as ineffective. Rather, we have to help you channel your great feelings safely so that you do not harm yourself or others. One idea is to create “Stampy Feet”, in which you draw or print out footprints that stamp, kick or jump up to get your great feelings out. Or if you want to scream, you can encourage you to sing a song really loudly instead. You can also jump off stars, jump on a trampoline or jog at the point to move the additional energy associated with angry feelings. Another great strategy is the crack or crumpling paper or pressing and pulling the game master.5
4 .. Connect and reflect
In the middle of your child's collapse, it is not time for a lecture or learning. But when the dust has introduced itself, it is important to think about what happened with them. Name the feeling and the reaction you have seen and then work on some healthy strategies. For example: “Hey buddy, I know that you feel so angry that your sister would not share your toy. But instead of screaming and snapping your toy, what could we do next time if we feel crazy?” You could then offer more effective strategies for the situation. Essentially we want to model Problem solving and reinforce that you are a safe person and space for youEven if they have to fight.6
The end result
Teaching our children, really feeling their anger and expressing this emotion appropriately, is of crucial importance for their general well -being. It's not just about avoiding a breakdown. It is about equipping them with skills that they will use throughout their life, such as: B. resilience, empathyAnd emotional intelligence. If our children understand that anger is only a message (and an important one!), You can learn to experience, use it and manage without shame.
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